So why am I not excited?
I'm not going to lie, since my last post, the months have been a bit hard. My back was worse then thought and I needed to have back surgery. Let me just say, the surgery and the recovery is so much better than the pain that I was having; at least so far. The pain was so intense. Granted I'm only a few days off of my surgery, but I feel so good, at least no more leg pain, just some pain at my incision site. I'm definitely still in my funk that this all created, but I'm really going to try so hard to get myself out of it. But this back issue took away all the things that I have come to love in my life. No gym, no earrings, no guitar, no work, no walking, no gym, sigh. It's so nice out too, and I can't ride my fabulous bike to the gym either... Did I mention how much I hate not having money already and i'm only a few days into my no work thing!? Wow, I take so much of my money for granted. I think I need to revamp my budget—AGAIN! Especially when I get the chance to get back to work in 6 weeks—6 WEEKS! I need to totally not take for granted the position I'm in. I'm really good with my money, but I could be even better. Guess this is what people think of when they have no income coming in and they have way too much time on their hands. At least it's what I'm thinking of.
I'm totally a person that revels in their birthday month. I don't limit it to a day or a week, it's always a month. Yup, I'm that annoying person. But this time is so different. I'm not even a little excited. I'm going to be 28. I've already had back surgery. I feel like I'm falling apart. Emotionally. Physically. I'm drained. Everyone is totally trying to keep my spirits up and I really appreciate it. From my family, to my coworkers, and my customers, everyone has been keeping in contact and checking in on me. A lot of people that I never expected. It means a lot. I just wish that their positive thoughts could rub off on me just a tad more.
So my birthday is coming up on Wednesday and I'm determined to be a little bit more motivated and a little bit more positive by then. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I am. Twenty-eight huh? Lordy, I thought I'd have abs by this month, but instead I'm missing pieces of my back! But I'm determined to get back to my normal routine. I'm determined to fight my deteriorating back. Somehow. I wish I could get motivated with my writing, but I'm in such a funk that I can't get the next scenes to pop into my head. Hopefully, this will work to motivate at least that end of my creativity. I have a pretty good set of friends and a great family to rely on. Did I happen to mention that my cousin in law gave me a brand new pair of Christian Louboutin's? Yea, I'm kinda giddy over the fact that after my recovery I'm going to rock them! Somewhere, anywhere! I love it!
I guess just writing this post has put me in better spirits. It makes me realize all the things I have to be thankful for.
More to come...
