Step by Step...

Went for a nice walk yesterday with my best bud and it felt great.  My back is hurting a little bit today, but I'm pretty much convinced that it's from my long night at work and not from the walk.  So I'm relaxing at home and sitting on my heating pad.  It's been awhile since I've needed to relax my muscles like this, but it's definitely feeling good.  I got my new easytone shoes from reebok in the mail on Tuesday.  I've been talking about these shoes for awhile, but finally broke down and bought them about two weeks ago.  I needed new shoes for work, so of course, I had to buy them in black.  With as much walking and standing I do at my job, I figured these shoes would be perfect to help me tone up the tush a little bit more.  It could be all a fraud, but I let you know how I feel once I look in the mirror in a couple of months.  Anything to supplement my workouts and eating lifestyle is welcomed.  I like the shoes.  I feel like my legs are a little more achy by the end of the night, so in my eyes, aches mean that post workout feeling that I'm starting to love.  The walk with my bb was so nice.  We walked through a local cemetery that is just beautiful (in the day time).  It leads to the spot where our two local rivers meet, and three states meet.  Unfortunately, our town has let this land get a little overgrown, but we decided that it might be our job to complain to the common council.  They act like they're proud of this spot, yet they've let it become something that doesn't even remotely look like a landmark.  Our walk kept us intrigued... looking at the dates of those who have passed, what names were popular during which time periods, and which names we couldn't even pronounce.  It's a great spot to walk in the sunlight of the afternoon because there are so many trees; you actually forget that it's hot out.  Tomorrow we're walking in High Point.  It's a great walk which can be followed by a swim in a lake.  I don't think it gets any better than that... 

Cancelled Sessions...

I love having workout partners, but it gets hard because of conflicting schedules and cancellations.  I had to workout without my one partner on Monday and my session for tomorrow has been cancelled by my other partner.  I need these sessions to continue flowing forward because it's hard to stay motivated without my trainer.  So I'm popping in my pilates dvd before I head out to work today and tomorrow one of my bff's is going to hit the pavement with me and go on the long walk to nowhere in particular.  I love the long walks, I'm just hoping that the weather holds out tomorrow and saturday.  Right now I just gotta keep my food on track and keep myself motivated to continue working out even if I don't have the benefit of a trainer.  It's not easy going at it alone.  I'm trying to surround myself with like-minded people... hopefully they continue to be motivating...

Keep Moving Forward...

Jen Murphy is the best motivation for me to get my ass off the couch.  I can't stop reading these past few weeks and I'm getting addicted to tv.  It's so nice to just have to work and not go to school at the same time.  I wish life was always this simple.  Just work at night, sleep in till before noon and keep night owl hours with my hubby.  I'm loving it.  But Jen is keeping me working out and our upcoming wedding is my other motivation to keep eating right.  I had to work out with Jen on my own on Monday because my workout partner couldn't make it.  I don't mind going one on one with Jen but sometimes I like having a partner to grunt and complain with me while working my ass off.  I'm starting to love the pain.  I know it's working.

This past weekend was my bridal shower (AHHHH! sooo emotional!) and I loved every minute of it.  It was nice to have everyone together for a happy reason and not for a sad one (these funerals have got to stop!).  It was hard to be perfect with all the amazing food around, but I tried to stick with the fruit and veggie platters.  Ok, I had some Herr's sour cream and onion chips and a piece of my amazing cake, but other than that I thought I did pretty good.  I skipped the ziti and the sandwiches from my favorite sub place.  I'm trying to not strive for perfection, but just for consistency.  I just want to be on track to losing 10 more pounds before the wedding.  I can't wait for my next fitting, but I won't like it if I haven't lost anymore.  So I got to keep moving forward and stop being stuck in this rut.  Now I have the memories of my bridal shower cake, and the future of my wedding cake to get me through these next couple weeks without junk food... Oh yea, and the wedding license application that's sitting in our safe.  What a motivation, seeing my new last name in print (AHHH! sooo emotional)  let's just keep the emotions for my tears and not soak them up with food...

Feeling Exhausted...

It's been a rough food week.  Again.  I just can't seem to visualize what I want.  I guess it's because I haven't had it without doing in all the wrong ways.  I Just feel like unless I'm not eating or purging then I'll never get to my image of where I want myself to be, especially on our wedding day.  Then I had my dress fitting on Wednesday and I cried.  I saw what I want to see on the day of our wedding.  I couldn't believe how many inches I've lost, even though the weight is coming off so slowly.  The dress is going to have to be taken in!  But we're waiting until August to take in the dress, just in case I lose more weight.  I was super excited!  I've been more motivated to work out though lately then to eat right.  I didn't lose weight this week at JC, but I'm hoping that's because it's that time of the month and not because I'm not working hard enough.  I just don't want this weight loss to overtake me like it has before.  I'm trying really hard to stay in control without getting crazy.  It's just hard sometimes to stick in this middle zone when you're so use to the extremes...

My session with Jen was solo this Friday because my fellow bartender was sick.  It was actually really nice to work with Jen on a one on one level.  We focused on my butt and thighs and my lower stomach.  That's me, butt and thigh girl.  But then again, I like my butt, I'm just looking for it to be tighter and not flop out to the side like a pancake when I sit.  How do women get thighs and butts that don't flop to the sides?  I'm hoping Jen has got this answer!  Because I sure as hell have tried everything and trust me, the quick fixes don't work on this forever either!  I can't wait for my next session because I feel so in the zone when I'm there.  I just wish I was in the zone all the time, especially when I'm emotionally in a place that isn't conducive to eating healthy 24/7.  Day by day I swear it gets easier, then I swear it gets harder to stay motivated.  I think I'm a bipolar weight loss addict... one day I'm looking so good and the next second I look like a cow.  Yup, definitely bipolar weight loss.  

Just Not Feeling Right...

Ok I've broken some rules when it comes to my stomach problems (IBS... at least that's what they think it is).  Let me explain...  For the past week since my last weigh in I've been feeling really cocky.  I do this all the time when I start losing weight.  I start feeling like I don't need to stick to a plan and I can do it on my own.  I know I'm wrong.  I'm always wrong with it.  That's why I never get to my goal weight.  I had at least 2 dunkin donuts coffee coolattas this week (skim milk no whip, as always)- this is rule number one with my IBS- NO COFFEE!  Then I ate cheese.  Not just a little bit of cheese, which doesn't hurt my stomach, but a lot of cheese.  Three times this week I had some mozzarella and some parm cheese.  It just tasted so good the first time, that I wanted it again and again.  That's rule number two- NO CHEESE!  So what happened this weekend?  I suffered from massive stomach problems.  Doubled over in pain and complaining and complaining.  It was, of course, my own fault, but I'll only admit to that here.  I had to take this nasty drink stuff (magnesium citrate) in order to help, but it's my own fault... Hopefully I've learned my lesson.

So today was another Jen Murphy day.  I talked to her a little about the pain that I've been in from the workouts and that afterwards I just have no energy to do anything.  It's getting frustrating because I want to workout three days a week to four or five, but it's really hard when all I want to do is sleep on the days that I'm off from working out.  I just need time to recover it feels like.  She thinks it might be the fact that I am on a calorie restricted diet.  She thinks that I need more protein after our intense workouts.  So I followed her recommendation today and took a protein shot.  I have to admit, I do feel a little better today.  But that might also be because we did a lot of pilates today and not as many squats and lunges.  We shall see tomorrow when I wake up-  we'll see how much pain my muscles are in.  The hubby and I went for a walk tonight too.  I have to admit, I absolutely loved every minute of it.  Unfortunately, he got bit up constantly, so I'm not really sure if they'll be a second go at it.  But, I did love it, so I might have to finagle my way into another night out with him like tonight.  Anything is possible...  Like me giving up cheese again- I did it for Lent, maybe I should try to give it up for good... 

Better Week Then I thought...

I really wasn't expecting to lose much weight this week, but when I went to Jenny Craig today, I ended up losing 1.4 lbs.  That's been my best week since my first week on the plan!  So exciting!  I guess it is all paying off, even if everything is coming off slower then I really want.  I'm still really thrilled about it.  I ate out last Monday, and then ate the leftovers on Tuesday.  So I'm pretty much thrilled that it ended as well as it did.  I'm almost at 10lbs, which just thrills me... I can't wait to start feeling the results more and more each day.

I ended up going to my mom's for the afternoon.  We made pies but before the shock settles, they're fat free, sugar free, crustless pies.  The pumpkin is one I've made before and LOVE.  But we tried the same recipe but with blueberries.  It was interesting to say the least.  It wouldn't harden at all so I kept adding gelitine to it, when all it really needed was to be chilled.  My bad.  It ended up a little rubbery, but better then we both expected when we were watching it bake.  

Jen Murphy was pure torture as always.  Too many squats, too many lunges, too much pain!  But results here I come... I know all this is paying off.  Maybe I should stick to my meal plan a little more strictly and it will just melt off of me... I'm going to get this under control, yup, here's me, getting my shit together... 

Loving this Feeling...

So my next dress fitting is officially on July 15th.  I'm super excited to see how the dress has changed on my body.  I feel so many changes happening and I'm looking forward to them everyday.  I woke up a little bit earlier today to make the hubby some dinner for work tonight before I left for my training session.  I made him beef tenderloin scewers with fresh green beans that I cooked on the grill.  A little bit of italian dressing and kickin' chicken seasoning and I'm sure he loved every minute.  I'm feeling inspired to eat right, so I need to push the man to do the same as well.  I want to ferment him and keep him with me forever! 

The session with Jen went great.  I'm feeling so much better.  I still want to kill her, but now I can do roll ups with ease (I say this lightly because nothing with Jen is really done with ease).  She's got new tricks up her sleeve though.  Today I had to struggle to pull myself across the floor with just my arms.  Ok, doesn't sound hard?  Well do it in the plank position (the position before doing a pushup) and put paper plates underneath your feet.  Now drag yourself with just your arms.  Yea, that's what I thought.  Hard as hell.  But I want to do this before the wedding.  

I just made some fresh juice with my juicer and now I'm eating some asparagus tips and fresh green beans.  I love feeling healthy.  I love seeing the changes.  I love living this life instead of the one where I laid on the couch all day long with no exercise, eating whatever I wanted.  I even watched a movie without needing some popcorn (granted I always airpop, but it's still extra calories I don't need).  Dress fitting is just around the corner!  I can't wait to see my progress... 

Not Feeling Too Hot...

Well Jen Murphy session was yesterday and I pushed through it even though I haven't been feeling too hot.  It actually turned out to be a great session.  I also had to let Jen know that the leg kicks we've been doing are killing my lower back, so they're definitely out of the picture.  Being on your feet all day at your job while your back is killing you is not so much fun.  So she said she'll come up with new ways to attack the butt (the spot I want firmed up the most, second is my stomach).  After Jen I went up to my moms for a few hours and then came home.  I decided to paint our downstairs bathroom.  It's been bugging the hell out of me that almost all the rooms in the house are painted except the baths.  Finally, I decided to start and finish it.  I don't know why I decided to paint the bath when I wasn't feeling too good, but I started and had to finish it.  Bad idea!  After arms with Jen, painting a small room is not recommended.  All the nooks and crannies and corners.  Horrible!  My arms are aching today.  Thank God I washed my hair and shaved my legs last night.  I have no motivation today to do anything.  I really want to just eat everything but I'm trying like hell to hold myself back.  I hate temptation.  Another reason why I decided to not go to my hubby's aunts house (her father passed away).  She welcomed me saying, "there's so much food!"  AHHHHH no please.  I can't handle the food right now.  So I'm laying around deciding on whether or not it's going to be a movie night tonight, either way, the couch is my friend for the day...