Exhausted!

Today I'm exhausted.  I called up my mom to do our long walk and felt motivated, but today we went a little longer and it kicked both of our asses! Going up the last long hill that's close to my house we both had all we could to make it the last two miles.  But alas, we finished and drank a whole 32oz of water within a matter of seconds.  I've never felt so thirsty in my life!  I'm loving this 60 degree weather and these long walks but man I'm exhausted and the last thing is what I want to do is work tonight.

I also bought a juicer today! I'm so excited about it.  I've always wanted a juicer because it's such an easy way to add more fruits and veggies into my diet.  Coming home from our walk I had a huge salad and some peanut butter on some kavali bread.  I'm stuffed full of veggies and some green tea.  I'm exhausted but feeling good.  I can't wait to get the juicer in the mail- I'm thinking I might have to get a sam's club membership in order to buy veggies and fruits in bulk.  I love being motivated like this.  It's been so long since I've felt this good and this inspired!  I love it... I can't wait for our September wedding

Motivation Motivation!

I am so motivated right now to get healthy.  I'm loving the gym right now.  Lori couldn't go to the gym today, but I was motivated to go on my own after my morning classes.  I can't believe the amount of energy that I have right now.  I can't believe how I'm coming home after classes and going to the gym.  I can't believe that I'm going for walks before work.  I would have just "rested" before work, rested after classes, rested any chance I could get before.  But now I'm so motivated to get my ass moving and keep moving.  I can't believe how 3 weeks of the gym and lifting weights can change the energy levels completely.  I'm always tired.  I have the worst schedule.  Early mornings of classes and late nights working at the bar.  But instead of being tired all the time from the crazy schedule, I'm full of energy.  I'm so excited to see that at the end of the night I'm now burning over 2700 calories and I'm eating about 1200-1400.  So yea for me, I'm feeling better, I think and my "husband" thinks I'm looking better, and people have commented that they see the changes already.  My mom told me that after I visited her the other day at her job during lunch that people commented on how pretty I am and when she mentioned my quest to lose weight, they commented how I looked great and that they wished they looked like me!  Like me?! ha ha. But it keeps me motivated to hear stuff like that.  It keeps me motivated to know that people see that I try to be healthy.

Right now I hope that I'm motivating others too.  My girls at work want to go for walks with me, one of my best friends bought the bodybugg too... I feel like maybe my LIFESTYLE changes are helping others to get motivated too.  I need support and I want others to know that I'm here to support them as well.  I need a kick in the ass.  I can't do this alone.  I used to think that I didn't need anyone to help me out, but now that I have Lori pushing me at the gym,  I realize that I was never pushing myself enough.  I was never doing enough, I was always doing this half ass or taking the easy way out, and I refuse to do that anymore.  I'm proud of myself right now and I hope to keep pushing myself and hopefully push others.

The tuesday Oprah show with Dr. Oz encouraged me even further to do this the right way.  I want to live a healthy lifestyle in order to prolong my life as well.  I don't eat red meat and I rarely eat sweets, other than if I snuck them, and I refuse to hide anything anymore.  I can't emotionally eat anymore and I can't eat anything that I wouldn't eat in front of others.  It's not a secret when you eat along because it still shows in the sadness in your face and in the tightening of your pants.  I'm done killing myself.  By eating processed foods and eating junk food here and there, I'm making my life shorter.  I want to live a full and healthy life.  I want to be 65 and going for my 9 mile walks still.  I want to get my "husband" to realize that he needs to think the way I've started to because I refuse to lose him because of something he could change now.  He goes to the gym, he eats well, he motivates me everyday to be healthier, but there are little things (like his beer) that terrify me... one day I know he'll let it go, I just want him to realize that he can live even healthier than he does already.  This Dr. Oz show motivated me to change my eating habits even more... I've pretty much eaten well, but I had that "Ahh haa" moment of I CAN DO SOMETHING MORE!  What I've done isn't enough.  I know now that there's so much more to do... I'm so motivated!  Getting off the couch and moving around is the best feeling... I feel so blessed... I'm loving life.

Check this 85 year old out... tell me this doesn't motivated you! 

Today was my second day working out with Lori and I have to admit she doesn't disappoint.  I'm in so much pain and I'm loving it!  I got to the gym about an hour earlier then she did in order to tan (only once a week for my vacation) and to do cardio because she called me and told me she already walked today.  Pushing through the cardio without her wasn't that much fun, but thankfully knowing that she may walk through the door at any moment pushed me to stay on until she got there.  I did about 3.5 miles before she got there and then we pushed and did legs again.  Only this time it was a lot more intense and we used a lot more machines.  She's just like when I've worked out with trainers or my "husband"- every five seconds it's, "a little higher, a little more weight, or one more set of 15..."  I NEED THIS.  I need someone to encourage me and push me when I'm feeling like I can't do anymore.  After we did legs, we ended up getting back on the elliptical- she said we were only going to do a mile but it ended up being a half hour more.  I'm exhausted to say the least.  She also bought us these sweat bands that go around your waste in order to burn off more water weight.  It was a $4 buy at TJMaxx... I have to admit, I sweat like crazy and I'm not much of a sweater, even in the dead of summer, but damn I was dying today.  Hopefully it helps out with flattening out the stomach.  Speaking of flattening out the stomach, we did this exercise that she picked up in a kick boxing class last year.  You get a flat weight bench and you and your partner are on opposite sides, diagonal from each other, you hold on to your partner's foot and do a sit up and hit opposite hands.  I have never felt my abs burn this bad before!  I couldn't do the third set up to 20 but she ended up pushing me to finish.  Note to self: bring a water bottle!  I'm so happy I have some motivation.  Finally.  We both have vacations coming up this summer, so it's something for us both to work towards.  We're meeting up again tomorrow around 4 to do upper body.  I'm using machines that intimidated me before and I'm pushing myself harder than I ever thought.  I can't let her completely show me up right?! LOL.  I like having a friend who pushes me to do more.  I feel so inspired by her- I want to be in shape when I'm her age.  Shit, I want to be in shape at MY AGE.  

Right now I'm just sitting for a little bit and recovering.  I'm watching family guy and drinking green tea.  My "husband" is at the gym now because it's hard for us to work out together because we end up coming over to each other too much.  We've been saving money up for the wedding and our trip to Aruba is already paid in full.  Life is good...  

I Guess I Do Need A Swift Kick in the Ass...

Today I pushed myself so hard to get myself to the gym.  After going to bed at 2am and waking up at 8am, all I wanted to do was go home and take a nap, but I pushed myself to take the exit to the gym on the highway... I really just wanted to go tanning for the Aruba trip coming up, but then I thought, "ok i'm here, get moving..." Then it was about 25 minutes into my elliptical workout when one of my oldest friend's girlfriends happened to come up on the machine next to me.  THANK GOD! I was so unmotivated, but having her to talk to next to me, the time just seemed to fly by, and I stayed on for a whole hour.  It's been a long time since an hour elliptical workout.  But it felt like nothing because I had a buddy to talk to.  Then afterwards she pushed me to do the half hour circuit training and I felt like I was dead to the world, she pushed me to do legs and go over to the "men's domain."  I'm always so intimidated by the free weight area where men are doing squats and grunting (and looking at themselves in the mirrors).  I always thought that I worked out better on my own, but I would have done my half hour elliptical and then been on my way.  I'm so happy I had someone to motivate me, I really needed it today.  By 4pm I had already burned close to 1800 calories.  It was crazy, I haven't been this happy with a workout in awhile.  We exchanged numbers and plan on meeting up on Monday  too.  I guess she needs a little motivation too.  But if I look like her when I'm her age, I'd be pretty damn happy with myself.  It's funny, looks can be so deceiving.  This woman, in my opinion, is gorgeous and has a gorgeous body, especially for a 40 some year old woman, but she weighs more than me.  I guess a number really is JUST a number.  Because to her, the number doesn't matter, she worries about toning and told me that she never envies anyone.  She says "the girl who can eat all the m&m's she wants, and all the snicker bars, is still going to have a problem with her health in the end."  

I'm  really hoping that we keep this up because she is without a doubt so motivating.  I told her she can be my buff bride trainer because my "husband" and I are getting married in September and I want to make the dress maker take in my dress so bad.  It's so discouraging when you're a size 10 in real life, but in bridal world you're a size 14.  Why make a bride any crazier by doing that with the dress sizes?  The girl at the bridal shop, who is TINY, said that she's normally a 4 but wears an 8 wedding dress!  WHY DO THIS TO BRIDES!?  Don't we have enough on our mind to have to concentrate on a dress number.  It's the biggest day of our lives!  My dress will be taken in.  And I will be the sexiest woman my "husband" has ever seen...

I'm feeling so motivated, and I'm loving every minute of it!

Yea, Ok, I've been Slacking

What, it's been at least 3 months since my last update?  With finals last semester and this semester from hell, I just couldn't get to the computer for any other reason then to do work.  I've been pretty good with doing a little extra exercise here and there.  I've also been pretty consistent with swimming up at my school.  Swimming is my favorite thing to do.  I started with 20 minutes and then I've pushed myself up to an hour doing laps in the pool.  I've been pretty proud of myself.  But then my "husband" asked me to marry him!  And my workouts plans have just gone downhill.  It's been 2 weeks since I've been swimming because I've been so caught up with planning our September wedding.  Yes, that's right.  He asked me on February 9th and we're getting married on our anniversary, September 21st.  It doesn't give a girl a long time to plan a wedding, but man I've been pushing through and I'm almost done with everything.  Except the whole money thing, we've got it down.  I never realized how much all of this stuff costs.  But, not even a week after we got engaged, I had my wedding dress.  It's the perfect dress.  It fit me like a glove but all I can think of is that I want it taken in when I go for my fitting in June.  I want my husband's jaw to drop and I want to see tears from his eyes because I'm that breathtaking... and because I'm the love of his life.  

The one thing that has been keeping me on track, slowly but surely, is my new bodybugg.  I sold my old one to my fellow bartender, who is equally obsessed with her weight- we make a good team, I think we push each other.  Now I have a the new slimmer, black bodybugg that is compatible with my mac.  It definitely keeps me in line.  It's nice to be able to know how many calories I'm burning, so then I can get my ass moving a little bit more on the slower days.  I'll go up and down the stairs while watching tv.  I'll lift weights during at random moments.  I've noticed that keeping the weights in a visible area keeps me aware that I need to do something, anything for the day.  I'll do squats when no one is looking.  I'll do anything to keep moving.  I may not be able to get a whole exercise routine in, but I'll park the farthest away from where ever I'm going, just to get that little bit extra in.  I totally am a huge advocate for the bodybugg.  It keeps me honest and it keeps me realizing that even though I may be exhausted, I haven't burned enough calories to eat something that's not healthy.  Check it out at www.bodybugg.com  it may seem like a big cost, but I'm telling you it's so worth it.  Right now my main thing is firming up.  I still have our "honeymoon" to look forward to in May to Aruba.  Yea, we're going to consider this trip our honeymoon because we know that we won't be able to afford anything after paying for this wedding.  I'm down 5 lbs since the last time I blogged.  It's definitely not enough, and not where I wanted to be, but it's a little step towards a huge goal.  I need to get more motivated and take some time for myself again and realize that my goals are the most important thing going on.  Not some superficial wedding.  My husband is my husband already, we never needed a ceremony for that.  But if we're doing this shindig, I'm going to look damn good doing it.

consumed yesterday: 1700

burned yesterday: 2360